I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
