you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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