Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.

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(906): View more from Michigan

I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.

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(310): View more from California

and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity

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(707): View more from California

I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet

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(815): View more from Illinois

Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.

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(810): View more from Michigan

There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker

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(775): View more from Nevada

All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.

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