Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's always time for handjobs
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
