i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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