I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
