Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
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