Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
