have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
