There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
