I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
