Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
