I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
