and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
