So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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