i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
if only i could text you this smell
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
