none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
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Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
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I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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