this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Damn victory sex feels great
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
