ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
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I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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