Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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