she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize