What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
