clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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