she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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