Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
