He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
