im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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