my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
