i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
