i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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