we're chasing vodka with high fives
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
