Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
