I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
