Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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