just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
