I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
