I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
