season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
