Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
