I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
