Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
