Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
my poor anus
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
