Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
