I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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