Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
