I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
