holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
