I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
is wine microwaveable?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
