as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
