I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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