I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
