the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
