Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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