Whod you bang
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
