Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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