toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
