Kiss
Puke
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
