Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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