Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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