I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
