I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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