it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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