apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
